


I Just Need You To Pick Me Up

by cloud_nerd



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Arin is a good friend, Dan is feeling weird, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Depression, M/M, somewhat platonic - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 11:58:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7617184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloud_nerd/pseuds/cloud_nerd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan was acting different. He barely talked and he spaced out a lot. Arin noticed and when Dan didn't respond to any of his texts or calls, he got worried and went to check up on his friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Just Need You To Pick Me Up

Dan woke up to the sound of birds chirping outside his bedroom window and the sun tickling his skin. Everything was quiet and serene. _Way too happy,_ thought Dan. He didn't find the warmth of the sun nice, how he usually would have. He didn't feel it at all. Not for the past few days anyway. He didn't know what it was but somehow he felt...off. Like something wasn't right. Arin's jokes seemed stupid, _his_ jokes seemed stupid, he didn't feel the need or desire to do anything, neither eat, sleep nor talk. Especially not talking. It was such an effort to think and say something. It used up so much energy to open his mouth and form words. So lately he used nonverbal language much more. Nodding, shaking his head, shrugging, smiling, talking with his eyes. It was much easier. He's certain at least someone must have noticed how quiet he's been but no one has mentioned it yet. Obviously during Grump sessions, he tried to sound normal, talking about as much as he usually would.

Dan sighed and pressed his face back into his pillow. They had a day off. The first in a long time and he was going to make the most of it. But apparently the universe was against him. The birds wouldn't shut up, the traffic got louder by the second and on top of these things his phone vibrated. _Who the fuck is texting me this goddam early?!_ Not so Grump got grumpier and grumpier as he tried to go back to sleep but it didn't work. His phone vibrated again and again. Annoyed Dan took it and without even checking the messages, he turned it off. He really couldn't bother with anyone right now. He was too conflicted with himself and his feelings to socialise in any way or form. He rolled over so that he was laying on his back, staring at the ceiling. Glow in the dark stars and planets were looking down on him. He knows those were meant for kids but the little amount of light they radiate during the night somehow always calmed him down when he couldn't sleep. As he was observing the patterns above him, he could feel frustration and nerves bubbling up in his chest. His eyes started to burn as if tears were going to spill but his cheeks stayed dry. The silence was pressing down on him. It was weird, there _were_ sounds so it wasn't actually silent but he could hear the emptiness of his room, the uninhabited space of his house. Eventually he couldn't take it any longer and shifted himself so that his feet touched the wooden floor. Slowly he got up and shuffled to the kitchen. He made himself some coffee and sat down at the table. He didn't feel any hunger so he couldn't see the point in forcing food down his throat. He took his time in drinking his beverage, eyes barely moving from an invisible spot on the wall. His mind was drifting off but he wasn't really thinking of anything. Just somehow focusing on breathing, telling himself to breathe in - breathe out. It might seem stupid but this kept him from slipping into a dark pit of mind. One he doubted he could get out soon. Although now that he thought about it, maybe he was already there. Considering his lack of emotions and...well...life. It kinda felt like he was dead or at least that this wasn't his body. He could see his limbs move, he could feel the coffee burning his mouth, the coolness of the tiles on the floor creeping up his legs but it all felt so far away, like he was watching someone else. Even when he touched his arm with his fingers, it felt strange, not like his arm, not like his skin. He could see it happening, could see that it was all attached to the chest underneath him, _his_ chest.

Finally, he'd emptied his mug and put it into the sink, he'll wash it later. He trudged to the bathroom to brush his teeth. While cleaning he stared at his reflection. _I look like shit,_ he thought bitterly. Technically everything looked like it always does but he could see the sadness and despair in his brown eyes. Again he felt like that person wasn't him. Sure he recognized the features as his own but they just...seemed off. The eyes that looked back at him were half closed, somewhat lifeless. He spat out the toothpaste and rinsed his mouth. Sighing he made his way back to the bedroom. When he entered it, the stuffy air from the night prior greeted him, making him scrunch up his nose. Deciding to let some fresh air in, Dan opened the window. He took his laptop from the desk in his room and carried it to the bed. While the computer booted up, he looked for his headphones. When everything was ready, Dan plugged them in, clicked on a playlist he named 'calm' and laid down. Closing his eyes and putting his hands under his head, he tried to relax. The playlist was specifically for times like this, times when he just wanted to forget everything, forget what he was feeling, forget what he was thinking, forget his responsibilities. And it worked this time too. Dan was drifting in and out of consciousness. He'd lost track of time; didn't know how many times he'd already listened through his whole playlist when he could hear a faint knocking. Thinking it must have been a woodpecker or something outside, he ignored it. A few minutes later he could feel a vague presence in his room. Believing he must be paranoid, he ignored that too. When he felt the bed tilt, he didn't even flinch. Somehow he instantly knew it must be Arin. Dan kept his eyes closed, pretending not to have noticed his friend. He felt a hand on his leg. The touch was soft, almost as if Arin was afraid he could hurt Dan. Slowly Dan opened his eyes and briefly glanced at his best friend beside him. He took off his headphones and put them on the mattress next to his head. "Danny." Arin began in a quiet voice. It wasn't a question more of a statement or a greeting. "Are you okay?" Dan stared up at his stars and shrugged. "Why you askin'?" He mumbled. Arin started to rub his hand up and down Dan's leg. "You didn't respond to my texts or calls." explained the younger. "Turned my phone off." He still didn't want to talk, it was just so exhausting to him. "Yeah I know, why?" _God, can he just stop asking questions and leave?_ "Didn't wanna answer." Dan felt annoyance and frustration swirling around in him. The fact that Arin was touching him was irritating him even more. "What's going on, Dan?" Sighing, he responded "Nothing, I'm okay, Arin." Arin squinted his eyes sceptically. "Mhm and I'm the Queen of England." "Well, what do I know what you do in your free time?" grumbled Danny, Arin just huffed. "I can see something's wrong, buddy." Something in Dan's brain just gave up. "Goddamit Arin, just leave me alone, okay? I'm fine!" he snapped. Arin stayed seated on Dan's bed, not reacting to his friend’s small outburst. Dan closed his eyes and sighing he apologized. "I...sorry, I just...I don't know." "Hey it's okay. Talk to me." Resigned Dan put his arms over his face. He didn't want to talk. Not that he didn't want Arin to know, actually the complete opposite, he wants him to know but he just didn't have the strength to formulate coherent sentences. "Not in the mood" Arin's voice was quiet but still demanding. "Danny." Dan stayed silent. "Okay, I'll leave then." When he felt the mattress shift, Dan got scared. He didn't want to be alone. Even if Arin was just here, doing nothing, hearing another human's breathing, it would fill the silence in his apartment. Before Arin could have taken a step away from the bed, Dan grabbed the other's wrist. "Don't...please...I..." Slowly Arin sat back down, his wrist still held by Dan. Carefully Dan trailed his fingers over Arin's arm and laced their hands together. "I get it if you don't wanna talk about it." Arin squeezed the elder’s hand. "I-it's not that..." Dan mumbled. "Okay, what's keeping you back then?" He sighed. He didn't want to shut Arin out but he was also so very tired. Mentally deciding that talking quietly would at least save some energy, he tugged on Arin's hand. "Cuddle." He demanded, whispering. The younger obeyed willingly, crawled over his friend and laid down next to him. Dan turned around to face Arin, pulled his hands to his chest and buried his face in Arin's shirt. Arin responded in putting his arm over the curled up man's side and used his other hand to comb his fingers through Dan's mop of hair. "It's just...lately I've felt...I don't know...weird." His voice sounded small, almost unsure. "I, as well as the others, have noticed that you've been very quiet. You didn't really talk unless we were recording and you spaced out a lot." Arin added about just as quiet. "Talking just uses up so much energy...energy I don't have right now. It's weird, I just can't bring my brain to form words. And I kinda don't feel like anything, like whether it's emotions or humanly needs. I'm not hungry or thirsty, I can't sleep and everything just feels off..." explained Dan, burying his head further in his friend's chest. "Like I don't feel like myself but somehow now that you're here...I don't know...you make me feel at ease." Arin thighend his grip and kissed the top of Dan's head. "Have you eaten yet?" Dan shook his head. "How about I order us some Pizza and we'll watch your favourite movie, okay?" Dan nodded. Arin let go of his friend and grabbed his phone to call the Pizza place. When he finished ordering he wrapped himself around Dan again. "It should arrive in about 30 minutes."

They stayed cuddling with each other until the delivery person forced them apart. Arin got up to answer the door and pay for the food. Bringing the box back to Dan, he took Dan's laptop and propped himself up against the headboard of the bed. While he opened up Netflix, Dan shifted so his head was laying on Arin's lap. They finished the Pizza about 20 minutes into the movie and Dan started to get sleepy. Arin's hand that stroked through his hair and occasionally scratching at the nape of his neck didn't help. It made him drowsy to the point he couldn't keep his eyes focused on the screen anymore. He fought against it, not wanting to fall asleep but the steady breathing of his friend and the comfort of his touch lulled him to sleep eventually. When Arin noticed that Dan wasn't awake anymore, he smiled. "You're gonna be okay. I'll make sure of that, Danny."


End file.
